The Art… frustration of writing

The standard of writing is no head-hopping.

Jack thought she was the most beautiful and exasperating woman he’d ever met. I just want to put her over my knee and spank that sass right out of her.
Jill thought he was the most arrogant and handsome man she’d ever met. I just want to slap his face and then kiss him all over.
Jack toyed with his tie. I wonder if she likes bondage?
Jill twirled her hair. I wonder if he picks his nose?
Jack thought the steak was tough. Her fish looks okay.
Jill thought the service sucked. His expression turns me off.
Jack said, “I’m having good time, are you?” Frowning when he saw her roll her eyes. She needs a spanking!
Jill lied, “It’s great.” When the fuck is this date going to end?

Jack and Jill never went up the hill or anywhere ever again. Thus the potential for a romance of the ages died over surf and turf because the writer couldn’t decide who’s POV was preeminent.

Modern writers/editors deal with this issue by writing paragraphs all the way up to entire chapters in one POV only. Then when the POV switches to another character, the first paragraphs are a recap of the previous action as viewed from someone else. The rules are that you can never, ever, have one character know what another character is thinking or doing without direct observation or spoken dialogue.

Jack admired the beautiful woman seated across from him in the crowded restaurant. He knew his exasperation likely showed on his face, but something about the way she conversed sparked a desire to put her over his knee and spank the sass right out of her. Toying with his tie, he felt his face heat and his groin swell wondering if she liked bondage as well. He’d never thought about doing those sorts of kinky things to past girlfriends, not that Jill was a girlfriend, not on a first date. But still… his hand paused, fork poised to place the steak – the tough overdone meat – in his mouth. He watched her twirl a strand of curly black hair. Such slender fingers, he thought would look nice wrapped around his cock. He cleared his throat and put his fork back down on the plate. “I’m having good time, are you?” Frowning when he saw her roll her eyes. She needs a spanking!

Jill lied, “It’s great.” When the fuck is this date going to end, she fumed silently. It had started off well. He was handsome, well-groomed, sharply dressed – she felt a bit intimidated by the restaurant, the prices at least – but she hoped her nervousness didn’t show. She hated that she coped with nerves by being defensive and a bit sassy; as well as twirling her hair as if she was flirting. It tended to piss men off, but Jack didn’t seem to mind. That was, until he started to drone on about his career and possessions. Figures, she’d muttered to herself, just a another arrogant A-type. He probably picks his nose and flicks the boogers on the wall. She giggled and covered her lapse by saying the service sucked. When he wrinkled his face as if she’d farted, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

So remember writers, no more head-hopping!

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